The Planets Act Obnoxious: Mercury and Mars in Retrograde

This May, planet Earth is undergoing the effects of not only one retrograde, but two. When a planet goes through retrograde – appearing to move backwards in the sky – it gets unsettled from its normal position. It acts out, usually causing a fair amount of distress amongst the tiny and already distressed human race. In the two upcoming months we will be plagued by both Mercury and Mars’ cautious retrogrades.

People tend to get overly excited about Mercury in retrograde, and even if you severely dislike astrology, it is unlikely that you’ve been able to escape the negative publicity of Mercury in retrograde. Mercury is the planet of thinking, when it is in retrograde it notoriously causes general communication breakdown. Watch out for misunderstandings and overthinking.

If you tend to be negative, get ready to think yourself into a cave of sadness deep in the Ozarks. If you tend to be paranoid, get ready to make an incorrect assumption about someone else’s motives and hold it against them for the rest of the summer. If you tend to be disorganized, prepare to have an emotional breakdown over a lost journal filled with your darkest secrets, only to find it three hours later underneath a textbook. If you tend to lack a filter, prepare to insult five people accidentally with one well-meaning but badly worded comment.

Do not. Attempt. To write. Writing during Mercury retrograde is like arranging grains of salt into famous surrealist paintings. Or, alternatively, if math is your thing; Do not. Attempt. To math. I assume it would be similar.

In addition to this mess, Mars will also be in retrograde. Mars is the planet of passion- work, anger, drive, driving. When Mars goes into retrograde, much like Mercury, it gets confused by itself. Any anger or desire is likely to be repressed. You may find yourself instead ruminating over the difference between your wants and needs. Lay low. Refocus, specifically in your career/school and love areas. You might find yourself losing interest in passion pursuits. Don’t worry. Now is not the time to make any final decrees about the future of your education/career or start anything impulsively.

Although I tend to live by the (unwise) mantra; doing something rash that creates momentum is better than living in perpetual stasis, perhaps it would be a good idea to act a little more sanely in the next two months. Or at least pretend to.

Cassie Coale '18