Photo by Scott Foley
It’s jarring to learn while isolated from all of GFS’ loveable yet otherwise unnoticed details that we all have grown so familiar with. Try these quick and easy tips to transport yourself back to campus during a day of Colloquia.
The Library. I, for one, have been struggling to get work done at home without the focus-inducing conditions of the Friends Free Library. To recreate its distinct atmosphere, I suggest overlapping audio from several Teen Nickelodeon shows and turning your volume to low. The high pitched registers of the Disney child actors will be practically identical to that of the 20 freshmen loudly discussing their fantasy football rosters at the table next to you. In addition, place a crossword puzzle and coloring book three feet away from you and spend the period trying not to get distracted by it.
Meeting for Worship & Assembly. Take a wheelbarrow, prop it at a 90-degree angle, and sit inside for the duration of digital assembly and meeting for worship. Make sure you are as uncomfortable and anxious as possible and be absolutely silent. To get the full surveilled experience, ask your parent or sibling to sit behind you the entire time, making sure to glare and poke at you if you make a sound or fall asleep.
The Cafeteria. To recreate this hub of student life, blast this audio of people talking as loudly as possible on your device, or, even better, an industrial-strength speaker. Before getting your food, put on a winter coat and run a couple of laps to get nice and sweaty. Now, make your lunch. Before eating it, incrementally walk the perimeter of your kitchen several times to recreate the pay line. This process will inevitably take up the entirety of your lunch period.
Transition Time Between Classes. Between each class, stand outside and circle the block a couple of times. For the full effect, try to recreate the exact distance you would actually walk on campus for each class: For example, if you’re headed from math in Hargroves to English in Loeb, circle your block about 20 times. Before heading back inside, realize you’re locked out of the building and loiter awkwardly by the door until your parent or sibling semi-resentfully lets you back in.
- Main: Take all of the bags, luggage, and pillows that you have in your house and pile them in a hallway to form an impenetrable barrier. Sprinkle your binders deep inside of the pile and spend the transition between each period frantically digging for them.
- Hargroves: Take some ping pong balls and sprinkle them on the ground. Try not to slip!
- Commons: Have a parent or sibling hurl frisbees and soccer balls by your head while you eat lunch.
- Doors: Put olive oil on your doorknobs to recreate that signature greasy door texture.
- Outdoor seating: Splash a little bit of water on your chair before sitting down.
- Hook Period: Pull out that crossword that you sneakily slipped into your pocket in the “library” and attempt to finish it. As you proudly fill in a 14 letter clue reading solely “Jekyll and Hyde,” recall your boisterous freshman English class where you learned the answer. Realize that while attending virtual math class in pajamas is pleasant, there’s a part of you that might actually miss real school after all.